Well apparently he's into motor boating.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
