You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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