I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
