no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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