I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
she told me i tasted like america
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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