i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
