i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
