Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Randomize
