feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
