It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
