I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
