did you get engaged???
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
