i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Randomize
