out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Randomize
