put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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