There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
