Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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