he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
