I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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