thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
