They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
