just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
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You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
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It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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