Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
