I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Randomize
