How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I would ride that face into the sunset
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
