I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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