have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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