I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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