he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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