dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
