I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize