He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
