dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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