I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
