First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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