thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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