There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
