Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Randomize
