my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
