you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
