Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
