im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Woke up backwards on a recliner
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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