DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
