i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize