omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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