Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
