Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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