it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
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