i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
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Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
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New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
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