Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
