if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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