She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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