while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
