no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
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I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
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I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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