Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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