My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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