Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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